Mrs. Monopoly
December 3, 2022
inspired by The World’s Wife by Carol Ann Duffy
1. That’s him collecting his usual $200, the tycoon.
2. I call it exploitation – he calls it cyclic wage, buffoon.
3. When he first started out on GO nicknamed Poor Ragtag Milburn, he told me he would
4. make money soon.
5. Soon enough, he owned Oriental Avenue (that was enough to pay for our honeymoon)
6. We were on board, quite figuratively and literally. I loved him for his hard work and not
7. being fed from a silver spoon
8. We went past an imprisoning, and he laughed at them, telling them he was just visiting. It
9. was then that for him I started not to swoon.
10. St. Charles Place, States Avenue, Virginia Avenue, they were under his name soon.
11. I have a monopoly, he exclaimed.
12. Milburn, it’s starting to seem you like money more than me, I said.
13. Don’t worry, he said. I’ve bought us a new, lush home at Atlantic Avenue.
14. This ignorant fool, money had gotten to his head.
15. Replacing toilet paper with Benjamins, I did not want this freak to be in my bed.
16. I looked at all the tenants, miserable as they had to pay his absurd property tax.
17. Like my husband, they were constantly working, but different in that they could not just
18. sit back and relax.
19. He landed on Chance: what luck, a bank error in his favor.
20. Instead of setting things fair, he kept the money.
21. Does this not guilt you? Stress you? I think I could see some grey in his hair.
22. He stood in front of me, looking up into my eyes.
23. Who do you think you are? I am self-made and have control of you little fool. I have also
24. just won second place in a beauty contest.
25. Beauty, I questioned. You have an architectural esthetic for little green houses.
26. His ego inflated, Milburn became the self-proclaimed Monopoly Man.
27. Who? Him. Mr. Monopoly. Rich Uncle Pennybags. Entrepreneur. Capitalist. Robber
28. Baron. J.P Morgan 2.0. Not my husband. The Weasel. Mr. Portly Short Man. Bank
29. Exploiter.
30.He became an elitist. Rags to riches, canvas pants to britches.
31. He became an image. Top hat, mustache, morning suit, bowtie.
32. He told me you can be my mirror, or you can look like a poor little woman.
33. I had enough, I told him I am disgusted at this new name: Mrs. Monopoly.
34. He disregarded me. Fine, I can buy myself more happiness. Go back to your Free Parking
35. club. Nothing will be in my way.
36. He disappeared one day. I saw the news headline: Mr. Monopoly arrested for federal
37. conspiracy to commit wire and securities fraud.
38. Fool, I laughed, go ahead and bite your words.
39. He paraded through St. James Place the very next day. I was shocked. What the heck is a
40. “get out of jail free card”?
41. This guy is fake, a coward.
42. He doesn’t even go around the board himself anymore.
43. He uses his pawns to bid his deeds: Mr. Car, Mr. Dog, Senor Battleship, Monsieur
44. Rubber Ducky.
45. Even so, I still miss his company.
46. We were together for so long.
47. If I am not Mrs. Monopoly anymore, who am I?