Five

A buzzing in my ear, an itch

A wordless voice and all it asked of me

Was a few numbers

And a few patterns

I counted, as it said to do

Counted my steps, counted tiles on the floor

Counted bricks in the walls and lines in my hand

Tapped my fingers in unbreakable patterns

And counted each beat

But one can only count for so long

My head spun with numbers

Overflowed with patterns

That had been laced into every move I made

I tried to rest, I really did

But the the wordless voice did not like rest

It grew from buzz to scream, from itch to burn

No longer a voice in my ear but a thought shoved into my head

By someone who did not feel like me

“Count your steps, count your breaths

Count how many times you blink

Count every single thing you do

Until nothing is left of your life but numbers”

Not my thoughts, but there regardless

A wordless voice and all it asked of me

Was endless numbers

And endless patterns

And four years of my life down the drain